Heybabeimwearingurpanties
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
