The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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