I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
Hope you had your fill for the summer my friend, because all the cleavage has been put away for the winter. Fear not; it blooms again in May.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
