Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
