I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
