I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
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