It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Randomize
