I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
