So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
You dont lie about slip and slides
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
Randomize
