fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
