I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
