If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
Randomize
