I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
she pinky promised me she was 18
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
