I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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