CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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