The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Randomize
