he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
