The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
