I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
Randomize
