we have pet lesbian snakes
Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
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