Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
I need a nap, Harry Potter movies, and dick in this exact order after work.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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