She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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