R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
