when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
We are two peas in an std pod
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Bathrooms are cool, I think Im just gonna hang out here for a bit.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
