So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
Lunch?
Massage?
Spanking with handcuffs?
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
