I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
