I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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