I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
