4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
