what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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