i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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