If I had a nickel for every time I've used a condom, I'd have... two nickels.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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