Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize
