i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
