It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
