the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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