playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
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