I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
She needs sedatives and a leash
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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