Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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