remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
