she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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