and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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