yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Randomize
