Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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