you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
