i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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