I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Randomize
