who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
