ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
