See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
he fucked my hip out of place.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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